more goodies.

(219): Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.

(408): hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
(1-408): if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends

(208): I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome

(410): can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
(443): wasted?
(410): im pocohantasssss

(720): o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket

(323): this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
(765): call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing

(270): i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.

(510): he said he didn't have a condom.
(415): and you said?
(510): that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.

true dat.

this devotional teen book was written by the author of If God Loves Me, Then Why Can't I Get My Locker Open?...now THAT'S awesome.


::Because You're Awesome Day (some fb thing...)::

* le sigh *

how nice is this for a cover? so nice!

:: HOT NEW FEATURE!! ::

As promised, TS has provided me with 'internet crazies of the week'(uh, we need to work on the name of this weekly post don't we?...)...

*******************
Where did I go wrong?

Bren has asked that I do a guest spotlight with the latest and greatest from the internet. Normally I'd take that as a compliment, but there's probably a subtle inference there about the fact that I have no life. Oh well, at least I get to laugh while wasting away my twenties. Moving on!

*******************
Simply Sara

The starter for this week is a svelte chef who gives a guide to the ultimate macaroni salad. I don't know about you, but this shit makes me hungry. Hungry for renal failure and diabetes. Eating this is probably the fastest way to get a disability pension out there.




Thanks Simply Sara.

*******************

Rule 34 of the Internet

Contrary to popular belief, girls are not made of sugar and spice and all things nice. I found out this sad fact when I was a young lad, and when I say that, I mean the other week. Rule 34 of the internet (if it exists, there is porn for it) proved this old adage wrong when I was shown a site dedicated to the fetish of farting girls. Check it out if you keen to lose the last shred of decency your mother instilled in you. :: fartgirls.com ::








**********************
The Homosexual and You

Back when your parents and mine were children, the world was a different place. Communists and Roswellian aliens were everywhere, and that was what only the decent folk knew about. There was another threat, however. The homosexual. This PSA from 1950whatever provides a excellent guide on what not to do when offered a ride home from a strange man, especially if you're name is Billy and you just finished baseball practice.



- TS

poster cabaret.

since i am supposed to be studying, my mind is naturally drifting off to more pleasant thoughts, such as my upcoming trip to scandiland. this thought leads me to daydreaming of the not-so-distant future, when i will actually be getting a little place there which presents an opportunity that i have never had before: decorating. ok, so i have lived in share houses since 2nd year at rye-high... but this is going to be a 'home' in a different kind of bf/gf way... i am pretty pumped.

so, what to put on the walls? well, when i can get some cash together i plan on ordering a few big prints from good ol' :: gb :: , but until then, maybe get some really great band posters and frame 'em? check out :: poster cabaret ::.




* love the BSS poster... designed by the dudes at :: Doublenaut Studios ::, based in toronto.

she never stood a chance.

TS has done it again with his keen sense of crazy and ability to locate weird on the internet... he has dug up this gem of a site and posted it on my boyfriend's fb wall (it's a fun little thing they do to keep in touch now that they don't live across the hall from eachother). i think it may be time that i just get TS to do a weekly post on here of the bizarre crap he finds, because i pretty much am always amazed at the caliber of his discoveries and end up stealing his links and putting them up here anyway.

the following are a couple of the amazing photos from the site :: awkward family photos :: , where, you guessed it, people send in their own or other people's incredibly awkward (and fantastical in most cases) family photos. love it.

The Lenscrafters
** she never stood a chance.**

The Choker
**this is what happens when your male role model is both a priest and a gym teacher.**

craving...

i really really want a funnel cake from canada's wonderland. right. this. second. and this is super weird because i don't usually crave sweets, i'd pick a cheeseburger any day... except today! send one please.

look at charlie's face, ahahahaha

* note how the parents are cashing in big time, almost 98 million views and a whole bunch of shitty pop-up ads that cover the vid.

i'm looking for a locket.

:: found here ::

fontski.

i know this has been up for awhile, but somehow i ended up watching it again this morning. pretty rad, and when i showed it to my bro when i was home in december he recognised the artwork from his fav noodle bar in vancouver. small world.

my milkshake brings 85 to 90% of the boys to the yard...

my friend A was walking around the cafe we work at today singing to herself, "my milkshake brings 85 to 90% of the boys to the yard...". at first i didn't pick up on the subtle lyrical alteration, but after repeating back what she said out loud, since the song/tune immediately got stuck in my head, i laughed for a good 5 minutes (deliriously tired? or just really funny? who knows).

anyway, she tells me the quote is from a site called :: texts from last night :: where people just send in funny/random/some stupid and unfunny texts that they sent and received (or made up to be cool and participate in posting on this website) while out partying. after further inspection of the site's contents here are a couple that i enjoyed:

"(519): Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me. "

"(201): I'm chasing vodka with french fries. "

"(513): thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES."

"(602): Goodnight sugar queer
(480): Sugar queer??
(602): Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'? "

"(706): i would punch a child for taco bell"

:: marley kate photography ::

soft, dreamy, gorgeousness.




:: marley kate ::

everybody's free... to feel good.

** eep! stolen! forget from where... i just like the movement and flash in this pic. party!

sing-alongs!

what!?!?!

i know i am obsessed but are you kidding me!!?? this is my dream, to be in a room with this.

Dear T.

luuuuuuv brennie.

* thanks :: le love ::

bye jax.

and when the first person you met in a country, a city... decides it is time to move on, it makes you think. reassess. and here i am 2 and almost one half years later. reassessing. met up with my beautiful Jax, K, C, M, others and TS tonight for a casual drink to times past, a failed attempt at Rock Band and a promise to go bowling tomorrow night.

googled: i wrote a book.

TS is over, we are heading to my friend Jax's go-away party soon, having a few beer (the plural of beer is beer) at my place first. we were discussing googling ourselves, so naturally i go ahead and type my name into the search field. the last time i did this was after i had googled a boy i had met a couple years ago (creep!) and when i realised that if i was googling HIM, then he might google ME, i proceeded to discover that my name search came up with a very old bloggish type thing i had written in like 2002... it was awful and embarrassing and i freaked out and deleted it and since have endeavored to only use variations of my real name online ('bren' is a really clever alias, no?). anyway! today, i google my full name. first few results are about Rye-High related exploits, nbd. but then, there is this link that takes me to a book shopping site. i click it. and discover that a children's book i had written (in a former life as a graphic designer/ toy company freelance person) was actually published. here is the cover:



so weird! can be purchased for $34 (Hong Kong dollar).

rude!

:: the onion store ::

catchin' dreams. nbd.