dear facebook.

i am slowly deleting you. with little bursts of will power, i have gone on erasing frenzies over the past two days and have managed to complete the following steps towards my ultimate goal of a facebook-free existence:

- went from 420 or something tagged photos to: 308 (still too many)
- went from 20 photo albums to: 0
- inbox/outbox, every message i had ever sent or received on there to: 0, emptied.
- went from 70 profile photos (holy shit!) to: 39
- went from a member of around 70 fan pages to: 0
- went from being in 50 or so groups to: 5 (one of them being the Beautiful Men's Appreciation Society, I couldn't bring myself to un-join that one)
- interests, likes, dislikes, fave books, fave movies, how are you, who are you dating: cleared all info except university and high school history and current city.
- wall posts?: no.
- view photos of Bren?: no.
- iLike?: not anymore.
- causes?: lost the causes.
- links, posts, 'boxes with stupid apps' from a few to: 0.
- deleting things and clearing personal data from facebook?: priceless. i mean, cathartic. and oddly unsettling at the same time.

the scariest part of it all, other than the fact that i listed the above as 'accomplishments', is that it is really hard to just sign off. 'but how will i network?' 'what if i burn a bridge?' - holy. it is not NORMAL to know what everyone you ever met is up to at all times! ok, so then the debate of what normalcy is ensues... but seriously, i followed the creators of facebook into this whole thing without thinking through the long-term effects of what dragging your entire history of acquaintances through your life with you will be. is there a reason we detach from people? a reason we only keep people in our lives for a certain amount of time, then move on, grow, evolve?

i was at work today and two 50-somethings women were having a discussion over red wine: "oh, you know, he isn't on facebook, so he'll never know." what?!?

oh, but hold on. i did meet up with long lost friends over the holidays that i never would have had it not been for fb. i do stay in touch, even via the exchange of little wall post to say 'i'm thinking of you' every couple months between old friends and some of my family is on there now too... and i DO have impromptu chats on that piece of garbage chat program that cuts out every three minutes and doesn't send messages and then all of a sudden it sends the same message like 30 times... and i really like looking at pictures of people - even the ones i have never met - because some people are really good photographers, or have really cool shoes...

woah. i think this whole exercise, re-reading my list, and reminding myself that i am not being forced to stay on this site... i think i just need to learn moderation. oh god, its not fb's fault... it's mine! * gasp *

i don't know. i had a huge rant about this on my drive home today to TS and i guess i have to blame it on a 14 hour day, 7 or so cappuccinos, delirium and too much time on the internet. facebooking. but wait, what about blogging? oooops. i guess i will just have to pick my tech battles for now.

and on that note - here's a song i like and a video that reminds me of a-ha with a title that accurately describes my state of mind as i try to shut my laptop and go to sleep...

luuuuuuuuuv. brennie. (xoxo, ha.)