if i wasn't here, i'd be there.

if i were to quit law school, i'd be a wanderer. not in the sense that i'd become nomadic or a perpetual traveller, but more like i'd wander locally. in and out of shops and alleys and cafes and galleries. i'd walk slowly through parks and stare straight up at the sky and breathe in really deep. i'd like to have some time in my pocket, that i could use to take pictures and record secret messages.

i'd be a song writer. the kind that never really does it properly but always does it beautifully. i would just write with my eyes closed, just speak from my heart and play what my fingers tell me to play. maybe i would even get good at it.

i'd draw a really big picture. on canvas, with pencil, like this boy i met in one of my favourite little shops in northccote that has a garden in its window at the moment. they sell weird finds, and paint-by-number kits and really good mochas. i want to cleverly design something they could sell there, one at a time, under a cute alias.

i'd write short stories. i'd re-learn french, i can't spell in french anymore. i was a spelling-bee champion in grade 6, i made it to the regionals, just two competitions away from the finals in Senegal. and now i can't remember my plus-que-parfait. you don't use it, you lose it. but if i wasn't in law school, i could re-learn it. and spanish while i was at it.

i'd go to the beach every weekend, to surf or to just lay out in the sun and read. oh, i would read all the time. the books i bought at the Book Grocers sale, every paperback only $5! i think i have about 7 waiting to be attended to.

i'd get good at shooting with Diana. i'd find old picture frames and put up my favourite shots all over my new house.


i'd go to yoga. i'd go every morning and get really bendy.

i'd send more messages to long-lost people that i neglect these days. i miss some of my girls from home a lot.

i'm listening to jose gonzalez - heartbeats. and mine does. sigh.